"My beloved is unto me as a bundle of myrrh." Song of Solomon 1:13
July 14th, 2014 by Aubri
Esther was pretending to bring me supper with her play dishes and then she wanted to pray.
Mama: Ok. What do we say?
Esther: This my body. This my blood.
Mama: !!! That’s right Essie! This is my body, this is my blood etc.
Our little ones are listening in church aren’t they?! It doesn’t get much better for a Mama to hear God’s Word from her baby’s mouth.
July 13th, 2014 by Aubri
Jesus, still lead on till our rest be won;
and although the way be cheerless,
we will follow calm and fearless;
guide us by your hand to our fatherland
If the way be drear, if the foe be near,
let no faithless fears o’ertake us,
Let not faith and hope forsake us
safely past the foe to our home we go.
When we seek relief from a long felt grief,
when temptations come alluring,
make us patient and enduring;
show us that bright shore
where we weep no more.
Jesus, still lead on till our rest be won;
Heav’nly leader, still direct us,
still support, console, protect us,
till we safely stand in our fatherland.
Nicolaus L. von Zinzendorf
July 12th, 2014 by Aubri
Clara: “Lily, after we put our bowls in the sink let’s go polish our diamonds!”
Excuse me now while I go polish my diamonds.
July 11th, 2014 by Aubri
All I wanted to do was sit down to check my Google Calendar to see what was for supper and like a moth to the flame they came. Needing, pushing, whining, wanting their jackets zipped, wanting to sit on my lap, crying because they “can’t see the puter”. Most days, well, everyday really, it’s hard to even sit down without a fight.
But some days I feel like “I got this.” The days are still hard. We may have left some phases behind, but there are new ones now. Ephraim has started biting, Gerhardt is way too aggressive for girls, Esther wants to help me with everything, Clara is in a very sassy phase and Lily, poor Lily just cries all day about anything she can find to cry about. The bickering escalates, there is still pee all over the floor and I shuffle from one fire to the next wondering how anything will get done, but at the end of the day lately, I’ve had that “I rocked this day” feeling.
It probably won’t last long and I think it’s only coming from the ridiculously low standards I’ve come to know so well, but this week we made play dough, we went to the park, we went to the library for a magic show and I look back not knowing how all that happened but really glad it did. The photos are from our 4th of July breakfast in the park, yet another gift of perfect weather and mostly happy babies. Even after the hour I spent driving back home to get bottles and formula I’d forgotten to bring for Mercy and missing the Fun Run…rookie mistake.
I look at each one of my babies and I’m overwhelmed with thankfulness. And that is a feeling I don’t have all the time. Under the work and chaos being thankful isn’t always my first thought, or second or third. But today, this week, it’s here. I’ve hugged more little bodies and kissed more cheeks than it seems like I have in a while.
These little steps toward whatever this is, are encouraging to me. After years of being in survival mode, I’m starting to feel a little…um, uncrushed.
I’m writing this down so I don’t forget that this is one more way our Heavenly Father provides for me, richly and daily all that I need to support this body and life, out of pure Fatherly divine goodness and mercy. Writing this down is an Ebenezer if you will. To remember that Goodness. Goodness that has been here all along, even when I felt it wasn’t.
“Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” I Samuel 7:12
P to the S – If God ever gives us another boy I got dibs on the name Ebenezer. And every Christmas he’ll look at me with pain in his eyes…I know.
