A Bundle of Myrrh

Maybe, maybe, I’m getting better at this surviving 5 under 5 gig. Talking to my very good friend today about how in awe we are over Mamas who can smile through the mess around them. Who seem genuinely happy and at peace even when all around them is anything but peaceful. We want that magic!

The mess 5 littles and 2 growns can make really gets to me. I could work all day and still there would be messes waiting to be cleaned. A lot of mornings I’d wake up miserable, feeling like a domestic servant in a Big House. Feeling like I don’t really live here, I work here. I don’t like feeling that way. I needed something to change.

Then I realized that over the past couple months something has changed. In a small small way I might be getting closer to “the magic”. I noticed that so many things that bother me, get under my skin and make me insane are becoming a wee bit less of a big deal.

But I think I’m getting better at actually listening to myself as I say “this mess will get cleaned up eventually.” (Note, the one above is a “right now” mess, which the girls cleaned up all by themselves!)

What I used to sink under, wilt with exhaustion and feel overwhelmed by is becoming mentally more manageable.

Now, some days are still more than I can take. Some days it’s “one fire after another” and I want to crawl into a hole. But all the “normal” stuff is becoming less of Mount Misery as I begin to see that, in fact, eventually the mess does go away.

Not right now, maybe not an hour from now, but the time to clean up will come and by tomorrow this mess will probably be gone. ANOTHER one will surely replace it but it won’t be this one. And I am ok.

One thing I decided to do is set aside the morning hours in our house for fun with the babies; reading, playing, walking to the park, doing a lesson or crafting instead of toiling away on my part. I’ll let the breakfast mess sit for a few hours, wait on the folding, breath deeply and live. That has helped.

Also helping is the fact that 2 babies are getting older. Old enough to clean up after themselves in a way that even I can approve of and this gives me hope! Maybe the other part of it is that the pregnancy nutties are easing up a bit these past few weeks. Or who knows, perhaps I’m maturing (unlikely).

My friend was good enough to remind me that this most likely is all coming from a Heavenly Father who loves me. Yes. That’s probably it.

I’m grateful for this new state of mind for as long as it lasts. I’ll take this gift from the Giver of Good things and relish in clean counters when they come.

Today I’m resting in “eventually”.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 20th, 2013 at 7:58 pm and is filed under Figuring It Out, In The Trenches. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.