A Bundle of Myrrh

Living Seasonally

This is a season of life when it just feels like I’ve let or had to let everything go. Let it wait, set it aside. Mostly the extras. A season of either being behind or right on what is immediately needed. It seems like it’s been like this for a while now. And maybe this is just how it will be from now on.

This is a season of waiting to be delivered. This seventh baby has drained me of many things, mostly of energy and enthusiasm. I’ve been pregnant and sick with colds since before Thanksgiving. It’s been a long Fall and Winter. I just don’t feel like I have much of anything left to give anyone. We get through the days. I take care of the musts and on occasion, thanks to the help of others, I squeeze enough out of myself to enjoy a few of the extras with the babies.

I wait for the days that I hope are coming soon when I’ll feel normal again. Have energy to think, to talk, to read, to work and serve my neighbors as I’d like to. I wait to move past Lent, to enter into Easter and new life. Eager for deliverance and to greet our new little one in the joy that this new life brings.

Giving Thanks

1. For family and friends who willingly help and give of themselves when I’m in need.
2. For warming of the earth.
3. For kids playing outside.
4. For a NEW play set for them to play outside on!!
5. For naps.

Thinking Deeply

“It seems to me that being a mother is like any form of asceticism in the Church. The struggle isn’t aimed at causing us pain for the sake of punishment, but for the purpose of bringing us to the end of ourselves. As long as we continue to rely on our own strength, we don’t have the humility necessary to enter into prayer. It’s only when we’ve reached the end of self, dropped the facade of being in control, and given up the mistaken thought that we’re capable of great things, that we can cry out from our depths, asking God for His mercy and help. Being a mother not only teaches a woman to live for another person, but teaches her to call upon the only Person who can give the grace and strength to do so.

The last days of pregnancy are long. Waiting is difficult and requires patience. It insists that the mother gives up her self completely to her child, giving that life the time it needs to ready itself for a great entrance. The length of time remains hidden. The difficulty of the upcoming work to bring this child into the world is not revealed. If there’s ever a time that one is reminded that control belongs not to us, it’s now. And so now, perhaps, I can pray.” Katherine Johnson

Turning Pages

My books sit on my night stand and glare at me. Neglected they are and sad. I do manage to pick them each up at least a few times a week, get some pages read here and there before I fall asleep or someone starts crying.

I sometimes read a few pages of:

A Theology to Live By: The Practical Luther for the Practicing Christian
The Failure of Sex Education in the Church: Mistaken Identity, Compromised Purity
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH (Oh yes I am.)

My books are usually tres jealous of my laptop that is much easier to stare at, eyes glazed over, mindlessly being scrolled and pecked. Oh well. Sorry books. If you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be….

Establishing Rhythm 

I know I’m always going on about our family “rhythm” being constant “anti-rhythm.” As soon as we get into a rhythm, life brings some other change and we have to find a new rhythm. So is life with lots of littles.

Our current daily rhythm: 

Our morning rhythm is mostly me staring at my computer, trying to figure out our day, what we will eat and what we will wear. Mercy naps and I let Ephraim watch a show so Mercy can nap. And then I try to wash some laundry or wipe down a bathroom. A couple times I have mustered the energy to dress the babies and let them waddle around on the back porch. I feel good on those mornings knowing they’ve gotten some fresh air.

Our afternoons play out much the same way. I don’t have the energy right now to fight everyone into a nap, I’d much rather have one myself, so it’s another show for the three kiddos that are home and another nap for Mercy.

Then the after school hour hits and no matter how prepared I think I am, it’s usually loud, fussing, messing, needing, stubborn time. Chaos perhaps, but organized and expected chaos right? Snack is made and eaten, homework is done or not done, a chore might maybe possibly be thrown in, the girls will throw their fit about said chore and then supper will need to get readied.

With the warmer days I can send everyone outside while I prepare supper, but that’s only after pants are found for the naked, shoes for the shoeless, jackets for the cold and more food is tossed to the hungry. There’s more fussing until we finally sit and eat.

Cleanup, bedtime routine and hopefully some Bible time with Daddy. Putting the littlest babies to bed first has helped a lot with the peace of this time. The big four babies are also getting a bit better at sitting, mostly quietly, following along, praying and even singing some.

I can say now that I actually enjoy these 10 minutes together. Phil and I are so tired by this time of day but I’m thankful he can eek out a bit more of himself and lead us in this.

We shew the babies downstairs to destroy what they must until they find a place to curl up and fall asleep and I hit my  bed like a ton of achy bricks.

Creating Beauty

I really want to make these but instead started this. All just in time for SUMMER! And I’ve been working on this. I’m new to crochet even though it was the first thing I ever learned to do with yarn and a needle. I knitted for a while. But my eyes and hands have gotten so tired in the last 7 years I’ve put down the yarn and needles. Not sure what got into me this Winter but I’ve been glad for the distraction. And maybe I’ll even finish one of these projects by next Winter!

Nurturing Minds

I’ll just say it. I am so thankful that we have a good public school to send our babies to. Sure there are some drawbacks to public school, sure they have some annoying traditions, sure I have to come up with what their gonna wear during Dr. Seuss Week, but I’m very grateful to not have to shoulder the load of schooling my babies on my own right now. Everyday they come home having learned something I wouldn’t have even thought to teach them. They delight me with how well they’re learning to count, to read, to add, to subtract and to sing about a turtle named Tiny Tim. We are blessed.

Nurturing Hearts

This has been a different Lent than in past years. I didn’t make much of an attempt to add anything to our days in commemoration of this Season other than using the ornaments of our Lenten Jesus Tree during our Bible Times in the evening. I’ve done more in the past but having been through Advent with little planned and seeing how that turned out I had very low expectations for Lent.

I’m very ok with that. If scattered evening devotions and attending church services on Sundays and most Wednesdays is all that happens, this is enough. The coloring pages, the crafts, the fun snacks I like to throw in for teaching my babies are good but will have to wait for another year.

The more children I’ve had to the more I’ve had to simplify and set aside. That includes some of those little things. The ages, personalities and interests of all my children require changes to plans too.

I can be thankful that we have God’s Word given to us at church and here at home (most of the time) and be satisfied.

Nurturing Bodies 

I am SO ready to eat FRUIT ALL THE TIME!!!

Tending the Earth 

It’s time to till the earth to prepare for planting our Green Green Garden. Phil will also be helping our sweet neighbor Les behind us with his garden this year. If any of you know our “Love Story” well enough you’ll know how sentimental I am about Mr. Les and his garden.

I’m glad Phil can help him. We grieve with him over the death of his son last month. They spent a lot of time together. I always liked looking out the back door and watching the two of them in the garden. Les pointing and Doak digging.

I think our Gerhardt will be a happy helper in the garden this summer too. That kid loves to work!

Capturing Time

 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 8th, 2015 at 8:55 pm and is filed under Daybook. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.