A Bundle of Myrrh

I asked if anyone would be willing to discuss a topic that isn’t easy and share the story of their fertility journey. I have had a very good response from many of you and I’m honored to finally begin presenting some of the stories that have graciously been provided by some wonderful women.  

In this series women with different experiences will share the pain and blessings that the gift of fertility carries with it, in the hope of bringing out God’s grace and promise to those couples struggling to welcome this gift when it is not known how it will turn out in a sinful world. 

Whether the result be a healthy child, a child who goes almost immediately to be with Christ, or there is no gift of life, all women of child-bearing age wrestle with this cross and the unforeseen works of God that are to come.

While we might envy God’s work in another woman or couple, Christ alone designs the cross appropriately for each. To desire to please God in this sinful world will entail suffering. But there is comfort in knowing we are not alone. There is value in hearing each other stories, that while our paths are different, it is still a struggle of faith, which all God’s children share. 

And it is a great comfort to know that God’s love is not found in how many children we are given or have taken from us, but in the saving sacrifice of Christ on the cross and in His glorious resurrection.

This is Bridget’s story:

Before my husband and I got married, we assumed, as society expects, that we would wait a little while before having children. We both felt strongly against hormonal birth control, but we decided on the use of a barrier method. However, after we got married and began praying about this issue, we both felt convicted that we needed to trust the Lord in the area of family planning. The more we searched the Word, the clearer it became that the Lord sees children as blessings, and desires His people to be fruitful. We conceived our first son a month later, and he was born exactly ten months after our wedding day.

His birth was unexpectedly dramatic, with an emergency c-section and a ten day NICU stay ensuing. It was difficult in so many ways and threatened to shake our resolve, but after much prayer and being so in love with our baby boy, we determined to stay the course of trusting the Lord. I was breastfeeding and I expected that to delay my fertility, but God saw fit to open my womb again when our son was only three months old. Our daughter was born exactly twelve months after our son, a planned VBAC turned forced “elective” c-section. I was devastated that I wasn’t allowed to try for my VBAC. I developed postpartum depression and was overwhelmed recovering from major surgery and caring for two babies. I absolutely could not understand why God put me through so much trial when we had been trying to do the right thing in trusting Him. This time our faith truly was shaken, and we decided to use Natural Family Planning. 

 I asked if anyone would be willing to discuss a topic that isn’t easy and share the story of their fertility journey. I have had a very good response from many of you and I’m honored to  present the stories that have graciously been provided by some wonderful women.  

In this series women with different experiences will share the pain and blessings that the gift of fertility carries with it, in the hope of bringing out God’s grace and promise to those couples struggling to welcome this gift when it is not known how it will turn out in a sinful world. 

Whether the result be a healthy child, a child who goes almost immediately to be with Christ, or there is no gift of life, all women of child-bearing age wrestle with this cross and the unforeseen works of God that are to come.

While we might envy God’s work in another woman or couple, Christ alone designs the cross appropriately for each. To desire to please God in this sinful world will entail suffering. But there is comfort in knowing we are not alone. There is value in hearing each other stories, that while our paths are different, it is still a struggle of faith, which all God’s children share. 

And it is a great comfort to know that God’s love is not found in how many children we are given or have taken from us, but in the saving sacrifice of Christ on the cross and in His glorious resurrection.

This is Ewe’s story.

Looking back a few generations, my grandma came from a family with 3 sisters and a boy that came to live with them before the days of official adoptions. After 10 years of marriage God opened my grandma’s womb and she had 4 children in 4 years and then her womb was closed. I thought her family was perfect because she had 2 boys and then 2 girls so everyone had someone their age to play with. I can’t imagine how busy she was with 4 young children before the days of washers and dishwashers. Two of my grandma’s sisters had children when they were in their mid 40s, but my grandma had her last at age 36.

My parents waited 4 years of marriage before they had me. Then they waited 7 more years before being blessed with my sister when my mom was 38. My parents had some friends that were Roman Catholic and had several children. Once when we visited them I said, “They ought not have so many children.” My mom stopped me then and told me children were a blessing. My parents would have loved to have more children if God would have granted them. I knew my mom was against the pill for health reasons and I grew up knowing I would never use it.

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A few things. First I wanted to thank all the ladies who have contributed to my series on fertility stories so far. I still have several lined up for you all and welcome more from anyone who would still like to send them to me!

Second, I want to apologize for my lack of a better word/wording when it comes to this issue. I’m still working out what this project is and what I’d like it to be. I just wanted to get the “conversation” going somehow and for, well, lack of a better word I went with “fertility“. I understand this might rub some women the wrong way, the way “reproduction” instead of “procreation” does and for that I am sorry.

By using the word fertility I don’t mean to diminish the miraculous work of God, who creates all life, by smudging it with a “scientific” word. Nor do I want to exclude any women who are not “fertile” either by being beyond their childbearing years or by having God close their wombs. I really would like to hear from more of you in these situations.

This was one of my goals in starting this series, to have the perspectives of women in all stages of life and in either situation, fruitful or barren, sharing their insights with one another. My hope is to provide a deeper understanding of each other and of God’s faithfulness to us in the midst of our fears, heartaches and struggles.

If you have sent your story to me and haven’t heard from me in a while bear with me! They have not been forgotten, life has just demanded a lot from me lately and will probably not change anytime soon. I’ll be in touch I promise!

Also, if you haven’t and would like to send your story to me read this post first and then please send it on!

If you want to read any of the stories I’ve already posted in this series you can find them HERE.

A few weeks ago I asked if anyone would be willing to discuss a topic that isn’t easy and share the story of their fertility journey. I’m grateful to the women who chose to respond.

In this series women with different experiences will share the pain and blessings that the gift of fertility carries with it, in the hope of bringing out God’s grace and promise to those couples struggling to welcome this gift when it is not known how it will turn out in a sinful world.

This is Rebecca’s Story.

I was born the 10th child out of 12. I always knew that I wanted a lot of children, like my parents.  I married my first husband and we waited for 3 years to have children.  Then after our daughter, he did not want any more.  We later divorced and I thought that I would only be blessed with one child.  It made me very sad.

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