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A Bundle of Myrrh

"My beloved is unto me as a bundle of myrrh." Song of Solomon 1:13

Archive for the ‘Church’ Category

Life for A Pastor’s Wife

Friday, October 17th, 2014

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There are many hardships that come with being married to a pastor. Kelly and Rebekah have written about a lot of those on their blogs:

Dear Pastor’s Wife
Keeping Quiet for the Sake of the Kingdom: The Bleeding Heart of Silent Martyrdom
And Gifted with Goodness and Mercy

There is often discussion on the ongoing battle of “balance” a pastor must have. He has to learn how much to give of his time, splitting himself between his congregation and his wife and family. Catholics hold this up as a great problem and one of their reasons for priests to remain celibate. If the balance is off and a wife feels pushed to the side there can be a lot of resentment and anger and strife in the home. A wife can be frustrated with church members who fail to respect a pastor’s time with his family and a congregation can be mad about how little time they think pastor gives them. Seems reasonable that a man in the ministry should not be married.

Why would marriage be good for a pastor, for his wife, his children and for his congregation?

Simply put, because God has made marriage, God has made man for marriage and as Luther says, “It is a school for life.”

Marriage is necessary for most men. Without it sin is given a great occasion to ruin and scandalize them. Remaining celibate and content is a very rare gift. Therefore, let pastors be married.

A married pastor knows the crosses of married life, he knows the gifts of wife and children. Marriage teaches him how to sacrifice for others, how to lead, how to discipline.

Through marriage and family a pastor can be an example to his flock. He can show them how sinful men care for, guide, love and nurture their families in spite of themselves.

Good things come with marriage. Life for a pastor is lonely, it’s isolating. He can be beat down emotionally and spiritually week after week. Weary of bearing burdens or being unappreciated. And God gives him a family. A family that, hopefully, gives him the support, love, comfort and strength that a loving heavenly Father knows he needs.

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More on Supporting Your Pastor

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

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I posted last week that October is Pastor Appreciation Month. I think this is intentional since this month brings the annual commemoration of the Reformation on October 31st. During this month I like to teach our babies hymns by Luther or about God’s Word and I’d also like to take this opportunity to write more about the life of pastors, their wives and families, on being Lutheran and sharing quotes I love from Luther.

So that’s what you’ll be getting this month here! Heads up.

First, here is an excellent post I wish everyone would read, Supporting Your Pastor. It’s long but worth it.

Pastor Appreciation Month Ideas

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

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October is Pastor Appreciation Month, silly? Maybe, but I happen to like it when people show “appreciation” to their pastors. And really, appreciating your pastor should be easy. As Pastor Bill Cwirla says:

“Pastor Appreciation Month, is it? Here’s the best way to appreciate your pastor: Come to church every Sunday to hear the Word and receive the Sacrament. And in-between, try coming to Confession. That’s how you appreciate your pastor.”

Well, these days that turns out to be pretty hard for most. But for any of you over achievers here are some additional ideas to show your pastor you appreciate all he does. Numbers 1, 6, 8 and 9 are very good ones by the way!

From LCMS.org:

1. Pray for your pastor.

Ask God to shower your pastor with an abundance of love, hope, and joy, as he pursues the activities of ministry for you and your family.

2. Identify a special committee to “care for pastor”.

This is a group of people in your congregation with the gift for caring. Their work is completely separate from the elders, church council, or other governing board of the congregation. They represent, serve, and advocate for the needs of the pastor, and lead the rest of the congregation in the dynamics of caring for him and his family.

3. Express appreciation, spoken and written.

A spoken compliment is always welcome. A written one can be read over and over again. Tell pastor’s wife something nice about him, she’ll appreciate it and he will hear about it later. For the same reason, compliment him to his children.

4. Celebrate with a special meal

Host an annual celebration at which your pastor and his family are the honored guests.

5. Respect his time.

When possible, give advance notice about meetings, confirmation parties, invitation to rehearsal dinners, and other events to which he will be invited.

6. Live in peace.

Appreciation is more than cards and gifts, it’s an attitude. Pastors sometimes face a great deal of criticism, both to their face, and behind their back. Speak well of your pastor when you hear him criticized.

7. Encourage his personal interests.

Find out what your pastor likes. Is he interested in baseball? How about music? Does he golf? He will feel appreciated when you discover and support the interests of his wife as well.

8. Lovingly insist on “time off”.

Your pastor will need to take time for renewal and rest, but may feel as though there is too much work to get done. Help him know that he not only has permission to get appropriate rest and relaxation, but that it will benefit his ministry and provide a good model for the members.

9. Support a strategy for professional connections.

Your pastor desires to be the best he can be in serving you, and will need to remain current with continuing education. Encourage him to meet regularly with other pastors. Your financial and emotional support in this regard is vital.

10. Encourage time with his loved ones.

Ask if he has scheduled a “date night” and “family night”? Offer ideas about babysitting, if that would help.

11. Respect the dinner hour.

Your pastor will feel obligated to answer the phone when it rings, so discover when he and his family typically sit down for dinner, and plan to contact him at a different time.

12. Show special attention to his wife, but treat his children the same way you treat other children.

More on Pastor Appreciation Month:

October Is Pastor Appreciation Month

 

Church Is For Babies

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

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Going to church with littles is not easy. Yes, this is old news. For a lot of us, many Sundays look like this and this.

Likewise, Family Devotion time is yet one more firestorm of defeat.

But as I wrote about last week, for the Christian parent, life in the Church, prayer and teaching our babies the faith are serious matters. Priorities. These are greater than anything else our children will need in their lives.

So, we continue in dragging ourselves and our loud, fussy babies to church every week. We continue in etching out sometime in our day or our week to speak God’s Word into their ears, to pray for something, to sing a few lines of our faith.

We fail again and again. We yell again and again. We give up, we start over and we hope. We trust God to be faithful to His children despite how many times we forget, drop the ball, throw our hands or angrily send everyone off to bed in the middle of a hymn.

Our babies need to be in church as much as we mothers do. As a Mama who weekly considers whether or not this is “worth it,” I found these posts to be helpful and encouraging.

Steadfast Moms “The Divine Service is especially meant for mothers with young children! A mother with small children during a church service needs to teach by example about what is happening. Jesus is talking to us! The Sunday morning Church Service is the high point of the week for the Christian family. The Christian family goes to Church to be welcomed as God’s children through baptism, to repent of their sins, to receive forgiveness for their sins, for wisdom, comfort, encouragement, and strength so that they can face another week in the sinful world that threatens to destroy and tempt them away from Jesus. The Christian family is the sheep and lambs who learn and listen to their Good Shepherd. If the Christian family fail to listen and learn to their Good Shepherd they are likely to wander and lose their way from the pasture that feeds them with the marks of the Church.”

Getting Kids to Behave in Church “Basically the whole issue of getting kids to behave in church boils down to this:  From the very beginning, teach them why they are there in the first place.  Remove as many distractions as you can.  Model how to behave in church.  Expect them to do the same.  Children will live up or down to your expectations.” — I’ll tell you, I break most of her rules. The adults are heavily outnumbered in our pew on Sunday. She speaks the ideal, and I’d love to have that, but reality is a little different. I bring books, coloring and snacks for the 2 and under crowd but I’m trying to get away from so much of that with the bigger ones.

The Secret to Church Growth “If church isn’t a priority for you, it won’t be for them either. If you go to church casually and do little at home to pray, learn Bible stories, memorize Bible verses and the catechism, chances are they’ll follow suit. Like I said, this is serious business. So what’s a parent to do?  Teach your kids Bible stories from the time they are babies.  Read age appropriate devotions with them.  Ask them for prayer requests and pray with them often.  Teach the catechism so that when they get to confirmation class the memory portion is review. ”

Family Devotions: A Work in Progress “Remember, you’re not a terrible mother if your kids don’t know the entire catechism by heart. We (and our families) are all works in progress. Don’t compare your own family devotions to those of other families. Do what is manageable, and rest in the confidence that God works through His Word, however imperfect our efforts to read it.”

Nurturing our Children with the Language of Luther “Luther packed a lot of punch; he filled his catechism with rich teaching into relatively short statements.  Do we believe that even the youngest children should hear the richest expression of our faith as found in the catechism and creeds?  Yes.  Emphatically, yes.”

God help us in this great task!