A Bundle of Myrrh

A couple weeks ago I received a rather rude and unwelcomed (to put it nicely) note in the mail from an unnamed person with an odd message and a number for a help hotline. I can’t be certain what it meant but it came across as someone who is distressed about my life and perhaps how many children Phil and I have.

It reminded me of the following quote:

“Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—”source

There’s something about having more and more children that deepens my understanding of the miracle that they truly are. And I don’t use these words lightly; miracle, gift, blessing.

“And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply.”

I’ll admit that at times I don’t feel that these words are true. I’m guilty of wanting to be lured in to a life of more ease, to value what the world values and not God, to stop laying down my life for another.

I can easily take the miracle for granted and instead believe that having another baby is just what my body does naturally. I can scoff at the words gift and blessing and believe that instead children are inconvenient and burdensome.

But God in His mercy daily forgives my pathetic understanding of His ways and teaches me Truth.

I have known many of you for whom children are not a given. I have little to do with this miracle of life. Life is only granted from God the Creator, given when and how He wills. And then He calls that life He gives a Blessing.

We’ve been blessed seven times. We have been given seven children! I can hardly believe that.

And as I’ve said before, each one brings to our family a different personality, different ways of making us love them, different ways of making us laugh and to be proud of them.

Each child brings more love and ways to show love and ways to die to self. Loving, Serving, Dying, these are part of the gifts He gives us with another child.

“Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept. He lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said, “Who are these with you?” So he said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”

I can only hold out my empty worthless hands and receive the blessings God may or may not give and believe His Words. The words Gift, Blessing, Heritage, Reward, Wonderful, Good. 

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

These are true of the children He continues to send regardless of how I feel. Regardless of whether or not I recognize those words as True and regardless of whether or not I even want to receive those blessings.

“Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.”

It’s hard not to want to make decisions based on the whims of my feelings, based on whether or not I think children are worth it or whether or not I can prove to anyone that my life as a mother to many children is good.

The fact is God says children are worth it and that they are good gifts.

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
In the very heart of your house,
Your children like olive plants
All around your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
Who fears the Lord.”

I am many things. I am selfish, I am lazy, I am a grumbler. I am often ungrateful, unloving and unkind. But God has made me a wife and a mother and He says that I am blessed.

So I’m writing back:

Dear Hostiles,

You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not a victim but thank you for your concern.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 10th, 2015 at 4:58 pm and is filed under Fertility in a Fallen World Series, Motherhood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.