Marriage was given to man and woman right from the beginning. And God blessed the man and woman and said be fruitful, multiply. The family is the foundation of civilization. Martin Luther had much to say about this. In our marriages and families is where Satan loves to attack all of us. We see these institutions belittled, hated, mocked and “redefined” all around us.
So this is another reason I’ve been so glad to bring all of you more on the pastor’s wives and families. We should praise the institutions of marriage and family whenever we get the chance. Yes they bring crosses, all of God’s gifts bring crosses, but these have become holy crosses for the Christian to bear.
Marriage and family are great blessings from God. Luther pointed the church back to that truth especially by example when he himself finally took a wife!
I asked my sweet friend Jenny to share her perspective on her life as a pastor’s wife. Here is what she shared.
October is Pastor Appreciation Month. I was asked to write about being the wife of a pastor, of a pastor’s home life, family, happenings. There is a lot that falls into those categories. I guess I’ll just tell my stories and give my perspectives.
Once upon a time there was a young Lutheran lady who fell in love with a young Lutheran man. They courted for a couple of years and then were married. Nary did a word pass between them about plans to become a pastor’s family. Then one day after several years of marriage, and quite out of the blue, the young Lutheran man stated to his young Lutheran bride his desire to attend the seminary. The young bride was quite taken aback by this surprising statement and the young man understood, praise the good Lord! Allowing his bride the time she needed to ponder this new idea, the young man kept all thoughts of seminary to himself. Eventually she relented to the wishes of her husband, and to her Lord, and the two of them took off chasing the dream called the Divine Call.
I hope you can see the intended humor in the above story. It was meant to be lighthearted, although the topic is quite serious. Hubs is a second career pastor, as are so many men we know And that makes me the wife of a second career pastor. And I will say it without hesitation. I adore being married to my Hubs. But I do not always adore being married to a pastor. Have I committed sacrilege in saying that? In being married to a pastor, I’ve seen the best of people and I’ve seen the worst of people. And it’s the times of seeing the worst of them that makes it difficult for me. Some people just have no use for the Gospel or its messengers and they have no qualms when it comes to making it known. I’ve seen and heard my husband be abused; my children have witnessed it. I’ve been on the receiving end of that abuse as well and this is what causes the negative feelings at times.
But these times of negative feelings are few and far between. And the joy Hubs experiences when he delivers the Gospel and administers the sacraments far outweighs the sadness he felt when he would run up against the haters of God’s Word. Our boys are learning that sacrifice comes with the life of a Christian; that ridicule and hatred attend it. But they also see the tremendous joy and unconditional love that surround it. They experience the power of the forgiveness of God the Father and the saving grace of His Son. They now know the fellowship and the friendships that can happen when a body of believers congregate. And I wouldn’t change those experiences if I could. We are at a congregation that has opened their arms and their homes to us.
I have not felt the need to be someone I am not, or to make my children behave as children they are not. We are loved as we are. We are needed as we are. We have fit in comfortably as part of the workings of the church. And Hubs, well, he is seen as the under shepherd he has been called to be. What a blessing!
Because of the sin in this world, there is no vocation that is without its trials and disappointments. We experience that as moms every single day. Our husbands experience that as well. I think what makes it so painful is that we expect better from our fellow Christians. But why should we? We are all tempted by Satan equally. So even though I say that I don’t always love being married to a pastor (would I always love being married to a plumber, or a dentist, or a mailman?), I do love being married to my Hubs. And I am so glad he heeded the Lord’s call to become a pastor. And I accept, with the Lord’s grace, all the ups and downs that come with my vocation as the wife of a pastor.
Great perspective, Jenny. It’s so easy to dwell on the “negative feelings.” That’s definitely Satan at work in our lives. Thanks for the reminder that there truly is a lot of joy in being who you are and where God has called you to be.
Thanks Jenny! (and to Aubri for posting!)
As the wife of a second-career Vicar who should receive his first pastoral call sometime in 2015, this was timely for me.
Thanks for sharing,
Lea