Thank you to Rebekah for kicking me into gear with this post I’ve been sitting on for a while now. I won’t write a lot because I think most women all too familiar with the problem we have with “negative body image”. We’re all very familiar with the lies our culture crams down our throats so need to go into that either. We all struggle in our own ways, if you don’t struggle wonderful! What a gift! I’ve met some of you ladies and you’re my heroes!
I just wanted to share some posts and quotes I’ve come across over the last few months that said things I needed to hear.
First this is a great interview with Rebekah Curtis on How Girls Dress. Pretty is no longer enough for little girls, now they want to be sexy and hot.
And I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL. How do you combat “sexy” body image with your girls…LITTLE GIRLS especially???
Lily put this on the other day and thought she looked nice!
Now, I played around like that too when I was little and we don’t allow any of our girls to leave the house looking like hookers I promise but WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? She’ll even pull a dress tight around her waist to make her “look skinny”!
I’ve never pushed Disney on my children, I’ve never pushed pink or dresses on my girls these things have just happened. Slowly I’ve let a bit in here and there and have not gone overboard with any of it, but here we are. I’ve allowed the girls to watch Disney movies with princesses and now I’m wondering if that’s the influence.
Have any of you noticed that the waists are getting smaller and the eyes are getting bigger with those princesses?!
Hello unrealistic, unrealistic called and it wants its unrealistic back!
Yes I know these are just cartoons, yes I’m aware that some people ban all sorts of silly things thinking that will fix the problem (speaking of unrealistic) but I’m considering being a total Disney Nazi and making a ban. Lutherans, criticize away, I’m just sayin’ maybe it’s time to be little legalistic about some things!
Saturday the girls were making jewelry out of pipe cleaners and decorating Esther (the queen) to make her beautiful. I saw that as a good opportunity to teach the girls what the Bible says “beauty” is. So (and I’m not that creative, I had to use what I had on hand, hokey) we made these jewels to put on our bracelets:
“gentle and quiet spirit” jewels
And many others we found throughout God’s Word, most from Proverbs 31.
Then we made a real “Beautiful Woman”.
She is Kind, a Hard Worker, Obey’s God (and parents), Knows God’s Word, Wise and Generous.
Speaking God’s Word to our girls (AND BOYS!) over and over again has to be one of the best ways to get this message through to them.
Anyway, on with the rest.
Another post from Rebekah at Hidden with You, Comparing Ourselves, Negative Body Image and Our Daughters Need a Better Way
10 Ways to Nurture Positive Body Image for Your Daughter
How To Weed Out the Lie That You’re Not Beautiful
“I will be a passionate beauty hunter – quick to recognize it in myself and translate it for Zoe. Beauty in attitude, beauty in excitement, beauty in laughter, beauty in service, beauty in grace, beauty in community.”
You Are More Than Your Swimsuit
Mama looking very Babylicious!
You Don’t Have to Erase Every Sign of Childbirth From Your Body
“You don’t have to erase every sign of childbirth from your body…I don’t know why we’ve come up with this idea that women need to eradicate any hint of motherhood from their bodies after giving birth…This is all part of the anti-child, anti-mother, anti-family, anti-life, anti-fertility obsession that plagues our culture …like an infectious spiritual disease… Mothers are pressured to look like they never had kids and never could have kids.”
And along the same lines a great quote from Rev. Rolf Preus:
“Children are regarded as commodities that may not be worth the price. A woman is taught that she can by her own choosing obtain a status greater than what God gives her in motherhood. Motherhood is denigrated because it becomes a merely human activity. Severed from its source of dignity in God, it is cheapened. If children are a blessing from God as the Bible says they are, the bearing of children is an honor God bestows. If the fruitful womb is a reward from God, the conceiving, bearing, and nurturing of children is something to be desired, extolled, protected, and enshrined in custom, law, and expressions of piety. It is from this Christian perspective that we must examine feminism and its claims.”
Hope some of this encourages some of you. And again, I’d really like to know how any of you are combatting the “Gotta be skinny/beautiful” killer in your daughters lives!
Ha! My daughter just today asked for some “skinny shirts.” I didn’t know what she was talking about until she explained fitted (not her word) shirts, like “skinny jeans.” To be fair, she’s very slight and a lot of shirts just look formless on her, but I didn’t know where that came from.
I dread next year as she outgrows size 6 and the girls 7-12 departments just look like a nightmare. I don’t mind (actually prefer) fitted clothes, even short skirts, since little girl legs aren’t sexy, as long as they are little girl clothes, not pre-pre-teen. I think I’ll be buying a lot of tunics and leggings
Oh Aubri, what a topic. I have no daughters, but i’ll be thinking on this one as far as my sons go. I, however, have my own struggles with the “right” way to look. What is really getting to me lately is all the pictures I see on FB of the skinny marathon runners. I don’t run. I hate running. I’m never going to be skinny again. And all I can think about is I don’t look the way I should.
But maybe I do. Because I am mommy to my 3 boys and wife to my dear, sweet husband who finds me attractive. Maybe I look exactly right.
Great post Aubri. I’ve been mulling this over more and more and probably will write another one soon. I never really thought about it until I was older, but looking back, Disney definitely affected my views of beauty, love and romance.
I truly believe a lot of the desire to be beautiful is instinctual. A man is attracted to a woman. A woman wants to attract a man. Together they make a baby. Not to equate us with the animals, but there’s gotta be some kind of natural instinct there. With sin though, like everything good and created by God, it’s all messed up now!
I like what you did with the girls. You are such a good mom doing all those things with your kids. They will remember those things. That was a great quote at the end by the way. Your posts really help redirect my rebellious and wandering heart back to where it should be. Now I’m off to read some of your links!
p.s. love both of your pictures. the first one AND the babylicious one.
I have been thinking a lot about this subject now that I have a daughter. I think as moms we have tremendous influence over their body image, more than we realize. My own mother is a tiny, gorgeous woman, but I distinctly remember her looking in the mirror many times and sighing “fat.” And since I am taller and much curvier, I automatically deduced that if she was fat, I was even fatter. I have yet for a day to go by when I don’t refer to myself as fat, verbally or in my thoughts. I’ve determined that no matter how I feel about my body, I need to stop calling myself fat for my daughter’s sake. Instead I want to use phrases like “eat healthier” and “be more active.” Phrases that encourage self improvement without being derogatory. I hope and pray the Lord will help her to see herself as beautiful, and help me too.
Image is a big deal these days. Hollywood loves it, as do all the covers of the magazines. How do we combat it? I’ve been working on this for years and will continue to educate my children about modesty. We did Barbies (boo-hiss on me, I know) with our oldest child. I am not planning to bring those girls out again any time soon.
I’ve talked with my daughter (age 11) about modesty for the past several years. Her swimsuits are now a swimsuit with a swim shirt over the top and shorts over the bottoms. Modesty. I bought a swim shirt and shorts for my two-year-old to wear. This would never have crossed my mind several years ago, but the sexualization of girls has gotten way out of hand.
We also look at the clothing that is marketed to the preteens. I despise those racks of clothing. We have discussed the low necklines and the skinny shirts and skirts and the shortness of skirts. We talk about keeping ourselves covered and saving certain things for marriage.
As far as being a “skinny-minny,” we talk more about eating in a healthy way and taking good care of our bodies. We talk about and have watched videos that show what it means to air-brush a model.
And where does make-up fall into this topic? My oldest is not interested in jewelry or getting her ears pierced. I think she realizes that true beauty comes from within, and so the outer appearance is not as big a deal as it is for some of her peers. At least, I pray this is a correct analysis. We’ll see. If she wants to wear make-up (several years down the road) and get her ears pierced, I won’t deny it. We’ll continue to talk about the purpose of those things and the reason for doing them.
Ultimately, we thank God that He looks at us through His Son Jesus. That is the image for which we are the most thankful.
Thank you all for your thoughts on this issue. It probably warrants more posts! Hmmm, I see 5 guest posts right here…. 🙂