There are many hardships that come with being married to a pastor. Kelly and Rebekah have written about a lot of those on their blogs:
Dear Pastor’s Wife
Keeping Quiet for the Sake of the Kingdom: The Bleeding Heart of Silent Martyrdom
And Gifted with Goodness and Mercy
There is often discussion on the ongoing battle of “balance” a pastor must have. He has to learn how much to give of his time, splitting himself between his congregation and his wife and family. Catholics hold this up as a great problem and one of their reasons for priests to remain celibate. If the balance is off and a wife feels pushed to the side there can be a lot of resentment and anger and strife in the home. A wife can be frustrated with church members who fail to respect a pastor’s time with his family and a congregation can be mad about how little time they think pastor gives them. Seems reasonable that a man in the ministry should not be married.
Why would marriage be good for a pastor, for his wife, his children and for his congregation?
Simply put, because God has made marriage, God has made man for marriage and as Luther says, “It is a school for life.”
Marriage is necessary for most men. Without it sin is given a great occasion to ruin and scandalize them. Remaining celibate and content is a very rare gift. Therefore, let pastors be married.
A married pastor knows the crosses of married life, he knows the gifts of wife and children. Marriage teaches him how to sacrifice for others, how to lead, how to discipline.
Through marriage and family a pastor can be an example to his flock. He can show them how sinful men care for, guide, love and nurture their families in spite of themselves.
Good things come with marriage. Life for a pastor is lonely, it’s isolating. He can be beat down emotionally and spiritually week after week. Weary of bearing burdens or being unappreciated. And God gives him a family. A family that, hopefully, gives him the support, love, comfort and strength that a loving heavenly Father knows he needs.
