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A Bundle of Myrrh

"My beloved is unto me as a bundle of myrrh." Song of Solomon 1:13

Archive for the ‘Reflecting’ Category

Why I Blog

Thursday, November 20th, 2014


I read this post yesterday and I agreed with what Bridget writes. It’s good to be reminded to blog with care and it made me think of all the reasons I blog as a mother, as a wife, as a woman.

So why do I blog?

Because I’m afraid I’ll forget.

Because I want to remember the great days.

I want to remember the bad days.

I want to remember that my babies make me laugh.

I want to remember that my babies make me cry.

I want to tell the world and my husband why I love him.

This blog is mostly for me. I know it’s public and I’m ok with that. I have no ambitions to expand, to have 100s of followers and 50 comments over how I put on my mascara or how cute my kids are at the park. They are really cute at the park by the way.


Keeping It Real – En Masse

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014


It’s crossed my mind before that “Keeping It Together” is probably a better way to combat the general feeling that children are problems. I’m sure that’s better than by all the “Keeping It Real” posts and talk we Mamas gift the world with. (see Kendra’s #2. “PROBLEM: People hate children.) I’m guilty of putting some of that pressure on myself, to make all this child rearing look fun, peaceful and happy as to not provide more fodder for the haters….

But…this is way more fun.





Jesus Still Lead On

Sunday, July 13th, 2014


Jesus Still Lead On

Jesus, still lead on till our rest be won;
and although the way be cheerless,
we will follow calm and fearless;
guide us by your hand to our fatherland

If the way be drear, if the foe be near,
let no faithless fears o’ertake us,
Let not faith and hope forsake us
safely past the foe to our home we go.

When we seek relief from a long felt grief,
when temptations come alluring,
make us patient and enduring;
show us that bright shore
where we weep no more.

Jesus, still lead on till our rest be won;
Heav’nly leader, still direct us,
still support, console, protect us,
till we safely stand in our fatherland.

Nicolaus L. von Zinzendorf

Raising Ebenezers

Friday, July 11th, 2014






All I wanted to do was sit down to check my Google Calendar to see what was for supper and like a moth to the flame they came. Needing, pushing, whining, wanting their jackets zipped, wanting to sit on my lap, crying because they “can’t see the puter”. Most days, well, everyday really, it’s hard to even sit down without a fight.

But some days I feel like “I got this.” The days are still hard. We may have left some phases behind, but there are new ones now. Ephraim has started biting, Gerhardt is way too aggressive for girls, Esther wants to help me with everything, Clara is in a very sassy phase and Lily, poor Lily just cries all day about anything she can find to cry about. The bickering escalates, there is still pee all over the floor and I shuffle from one fire to the next wondering how anything will get done, but at the end of the day lately, I’ve had that “I rocked this day” feeling.

It probably won’t last long and I think it’s only coming from the ridiculously low standards I’ve come to know so well, but this week we made play dough, we went to the park, we went to the library for a magic show and I look back not knowing how all that happened but really glad it did. The photos are from our 4th of July breakfast in the park, yet another gift of perfect weather and mostly happy babies. Even after the hour I spent driving back home to get bottles and formula I’d forgotten to bring for Mercy and missing the Fun Run…rookie mistake.

I look at each one of my babies and I’m overwhelmed with thankfulness. And that is a feeling I don’t have all the time. Under the work and chaos being thankful isn’t always my first thought, or second or third. But today, this week, it’s here. I’ve hugged more little bodies and kissed more cheeks than it seems like I have in a while.

These little steps toward whatever this is, are encouraging to me. After years of being in survival mode, I’m starting to feel a little…um, uncrushed.

I’m writing this down so I don’t forget that this is one more way our Heavenly Father provides for me, richly and daily all that I need to support this body and life, out of pure Fatherly divine goodness and mercy. Writing this down is an Ebenezer if you will. To remember that Goodness. Goodness that has been here all along, even when I felt it wasn’t.

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.” I Samuel 7:12

P to the S – If God ever gives us another boy I got dibs on the name Ebenezer. And every Christmas he’ll look at me with pain in his eyes…I know.