I found a book that looks like an interesting read. It seems to address some issues that I’ve began to experience and think a lot about when I have the spare brain room. The author is a psychotherapist who quotes a lot of mothers who shared very honestly just what they do and experience everyday as mothers. Here are some excerpts I found online from the book:
Mothers complain about their isolation, but surely a more fundamental isolation is about not being understood. That kind of isolation arises when a person finds it difficult to communicate an important experience to other people. “Very little has been written on the subject of motherhood.” observed Susan Griffin, the California writer. She recalled: “I was alone in the house with an infant most of the time.” She wrote that, when she went out with her husband and child. “I was inarticulate. I imagined people thought me stupid. I felt stunned, dumb. But there was something I had wanted to tell. Something profound.”
I really identify with feeling “dumb”. I wasn’t ever very up with the latest news or trends, but now I’m especially out of the informed loop. I rely a great deal on Phil who reads the paper daily and our local radio stations where I can catch some news while I’m in the kitchen cooking. Lately it seems all I would be able to offer for conversation are on these interesting topics; “Do you ever feel like the laundry is endless?” “What’s the best way to keep fried chicken crispy?” “Have any tips to make an attached 6 month old take naps in her room and not on your chest?” At best I guess I could discuss some of the great books I’ve read lately; Doggies, A Counting and Barking Book orTen Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes.
The more frustrating part of this dilemma is that these things are actually important. These are the things that make and keep my little world running. The laundry has to be done, supper made and babies taken care of. These are fundamental issues that deserve my full attention and learning more about. I find that I don’t care that the Stimulus Bill has or has not been passed. I’ve got bathrooms to clean and am too busy worrying if the apple sauce I made for Lily a few months ago is still good or been in the freezer too long. My priorities now and for the next who knows how long are my husband and my raising healthy, well behaved, godly children. That’s a very big responsibility. If it means feeling “dumb” when I’m around the adults in my life then I guess that’s a frustration I’ll have to live with.
Mothers often catch themselves making self-deprecating comments like hers: “I haven’t been able to do any real work lately” or “I’m only looking after my baby these days.” Looking after a baby may feel like “something” at the time it is happening, but at other times mothers find it difficult to explain. It’s hard to find the words to communicate what “looking after my baby” really means.I often have that ” I haven’t done anything today” feeling. But I have to remember it’s the little things that have been done that matter. Changing and dressing Lily, playing with her, feeding her, making dinner and supper, writing a couple emails, sweeping the floor, changing the sheets and just maybe getting me and Lily outside for some fresh air. One definition of “work” according to dictionary.com is; exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil, productive or operative activity. The things I do all day can definitely fall into those categories. I just have to remind myself of that.
