I’m on my own now with our babies. Our moms left on Monday, now it’s all up to me (with Phil’s help) to figure out how to manage the house and take care of these girls! While we waited for Clara to get here, we heard a lot of “Oh, you’ll be busy” comments from people. I do get “busy” at times, but where were all the “Oh you’ll be tired, frustrated, frazzled scatterbrained, scared, confused, alone, bored, wondering if you’ll ever feel normal again, feeling fat, dumb and frumpy with a messy house” comments? No one ever said anything about those!
After just a week of this I feel a bit “burned out”. Like I need a two day “smoke break”. I’m sure you can blame most of that feeling on pesky post-partum baby blues and lack of sleep.But when I look at these beautiful and precious girls, I know that I am so blessed. Blessed to have been given these children, blessed that they (so far) have such (for the most part) happy natures, blessed that even though it can be one crying then the other or both at once, there typically is at least one time during the day that they are actually asleep at the same time and I can just sit on my own and drink a cup of coffee. I know these days when my girls are so little and helpless won’t last forever. I look forward to the days to come but I know that I’ll look back to this time with fondness and want it all back. I know that each day with them is a good gift, each has its laughs and of course tears. I have to take one day at a time and between the melt downs and screaming, I have to enjoy what I can out of them. My babies are changing everyday, leaving somethings behind that will be gone forever and taking on new things. I wouldn’t want to miss any of it.
