Be Still and Hold Tight: On Children and Grief
(A guest post by Emily Cook)
The autumn breeze beckons us outside. I force them to live, to breathe in the blessed cool air, to let the breeze fill their souls and lift their hearts. But the little ones choose naps over fall joy- so be it.
I join the older children, and I brought pillows and books and blankets to help prolong our stay.
I am restless in the staying- shouldn’t I be doing something more productive?
Sometimes the weight of it presses down and I don’t know what to do with myself;
I want to fix it all, but who can fix a week with three funerals?
Who can help relieve the grief?
Who can uphold the weary pastor?
My hands prepare comfort food,
and then I don’t know what to do next: shop, eat, nap?
I overestimate my role in these things, I think.
I content myself with gathering blankets and good books, with holding my loved ones close.
It is enough.
It is enough for you too, weary friend who wants to fix it all.
It is enough to hold your babies close, to hold tight to Jesus, and to wait in hope.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to spur one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23-25)
We wait, and while we wait we are given this task: encourage one another.
I almost missed it this weekend–my chance to encourage the ones that matter most to me. I almost missed it because unscheduled time makes me restless. I almost assigned a task to myself, filled the afternoon lull with one more productive thing. But for some reason, this time, I didn’t. And this time, it mattered.
Weary of books, we rested on pillows, and my big kids welcomed the snuggles. Do they struggle with the weight of this week like I do? I see myself in one child, the one who keeps busy, and cries about minor things. Does she think the emotions will suffocate if she sets them free? Oh my dear, I understand.
Hoping to nap, I put on some quiet piano music as I held them close. But I had forgotten the magic of music; what soothes a weary heart triggers a flood in a heavy heart. The flood overcame one child, with hot tears and questions and hiccuping, gasping grief, all poured out in the arms of a mama who almost answered emails instead of being still.
I do not remember what I said. I murmured words about Jesus, things they already know, and I held them close.
It is enough.
In the days to come, there will be more moments like this.
May God help us to be still and to be ready.
Your children need you to be still with them, even in grief, especially in grief.
Be still, even without the answers.
Be still, listen,
Hold your loved ones close, and be comforted together.
2 Peter 3:13
But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth,
in which righteousness dwells.
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If you liked this article, you may enjoy Emily’s newly released book: Between Seasons: Devotions for those who wait for Spring. It is available for purchase on Amazon, along with her other books: Tend to Me: Devotions for Mothers, and Weak and Loved: A Mother-Daughter Love Story.
Emily Cook is a tree-climber, child chaser, author and blogger. She is a woman growing backward, a mother-child, messy with sin, but rejoicing in the constant love of her Heavenly Father. She lives with her husband and their six children in the arms of the church where he is a pastor. For more by Emily visit www.weakandloved.com
