Phil sent this quote from Luther to me.
“The more ardently parents love their children, the severer their discipline is. … But paternal love and pity demand blows, whips, and stripes, in order that children may be improved, even though this cannot be done without pain and grief.“
Ouch!
And this German Proverb: “The dearer the child, the sharper the rods.”
I believe it’s time that our “disciplining” Lily took on a different flavor. For several months I’ve used the firm “no” and redirection. Lily is now really testing her limits. She thinks it’s so fun to see how far she can go. She really gets a kick out of seeing my get on to her. When she hit Clara in the face and I popped her hand she just laughed at me. At her age, I just don’t know how to make her understand that something is wrong and she can’t do it. I read that I should pick a few things at a time to teach her are not acceptable and prioritize what you ‘discipline’ her over. So far smacking Clara is probably the biggest ‘no no’ and I guess I’ll stick with removing her to the corner or her crib to teach her that. She seems to get very upset when we take that route.
I want well behaved children and I want them to not have to be told over and over to do or not to do something. I know it will take time and extreme perseverance and consistency on my part, but it will be worth it. I’ve already failed many times and wavered on what I should decide to make a “no no” but I make a mental note and move on each day. I hope to figure out how to best correct and instruct my girls sooner than later, later would most likely make my battle harder but is this age too soon? I’m constantly unsure about that.
Oh goodness, Lily sounds like Mary at that age! Disciplining Mary and trying to figure out when and what to do in certain circumstances has been the biggest challenge of my life, and I am not kidding about that! I would definitely consider Mary a "strong willed child." In James Dobson's book "The Strong Willed Child", he made the statement (something along these lines) that some children just come out of the womb more difficult, they come out smoking a cigar and griping about the temperature in the in the delivery room! This is Mary all the way. Parents without one of these so-called "strong willed children," and they are out there, have no idea what it is like to struggle with these daily discipline questions and issues! Take comfort in this: Henry seems to be much easier in his temperment and behavior, so Clara might be easier! But then I wonder, is Henry really easier, or am I more laid back this time around because I can see how Henry repeatedly standing up on a chair because he knows he shouldn't isn't the end of the world, and when Mary did it, I thought if I didn't nip it in the bud she'd be smoking marajuana the next week…Probably a little bit of both, because I do think he will be an easier child. We've been through so many different stages of trying to figure out when to start (age) and what to do (techniques) with Mary, and changed our minds so many time about what to do, that I am looking forward to getting to the "parenting point" of feeling more confident that we have figured out what to do, so that with future kids, it will just be acting, and not so much "trying to understand" what to do. We feel your pain!